More Amusing Text Messages to a MILF Cougar

Just say no to annoying texts.

Just say no to annoying texts.

There seems to be a never-ending supply of this material! From the last post on this topic, this is the same guy that’s always asking “How’s your day?” or “How was your weekend?” over and over and over. This time he texted “Happy New Year” and I answered back the same. I have learned to avoid answering questions like these, because he wants to hear ALL of my sex stories (apparently via text as opposed to my blog), then he proceeds to ask me 150 questions (which are also repetitive). I’ve actually gone off on him before telling him that he asks the same f%^*ing questions over and over, that it gets old, and why is he so interested in my sex life? I know for a fact he gets off on these stories, but I’m not going to sit and text about it for hours when I have a blog that he can read to get his jollies off.

unnamed-8

 

 

Then there’s this guy. I named him this in my phone, because I couldn’t for the life of me ever remember his name, even though it’s fairly common. I suppose it’s just because I have no interest in dating him. We did hang out one evening, but there was no sex involved. He had horrible breath and I wasn’t into him at all. I guess he’s to be admired for his tenacity, but begging just makes him look super pathetic.

12931295_1737245283186499_4250723326744927716_n

 

unnamed-2

unnamed-4

 

unnamed-5

 

unnamed-6

And now he’s begging.

 

unnamed-7

 

 

Amusing Text Messages to a Cougar MILF

Amusing myself with unmatched panties.

Amusing myself with unmatched panties.

I have to turn my ringer off at night, because sometimes I get these random messages at times when no one should be contacting me unless it’s an emergency.

This one, for example, came from a guy from out of town that I met about four years ago right after my breakup. It was probably the worst sex of my life. He was 33 and had no idea what he was doing in bed. I never saw him again, although he did text me once in a while. But this was the last text I ever received, and we hadn’t communicated in some time, so this was clearly out of nowhere. I think he got the hint.

Clueless

Clueless

This comes from a friend that I have hooked up with once or twice. He has some pretty interesting stories and fantasies that we discuss. He may or may not be reading my blog material… 😉 But he sends the same messages asking the same damn questions, and I don’t have time to text all day long, because that’s how it ends up when I do answer him.

New material, please.

New material, please.

I like to f*ck with wrong numbers. This one amused the hell out of me but apparently not them. I was hoping to keep the conversation going. 😉

LOL

Maybe Lexi isn’t sexy.

How NOT to get my Attention

I will turn my back on needy bitches.

I will turn my back on needy bitches.

Somehow I either attract super needy men or ones that are emotionally unavailable and nothing in between. This particular 40-something-year-old Football Coach I met earlier this year was super needy. We hung out once. Yes ONCE. No sex. We kind of made out but it wasn’t even memorable. There was something about him that I didn’t like, but I didn’t know what it was yet.

Football Coach asked me out to eat at a place where I can’t eat the food, so I politely declined. A day later he asked me out again, but I’d already made plans. (Also, I was still working tons of hours at my old job, so dating wasn’t much of an option for me.) When he started texting me late night hours one weekend, I was ready to be done with him. Obviously, he was out getting drunk when he was sending these messages. I guess I could tell at this point why I didn’t like him – he’s an ass and a BFB (big fucking baby) who can’t handle his alcohol.

12714238_1712564428987918_24004743_n

After sending this, Football Coach sent me a long ass text equivalent to a one-page, single spaced term paper explaining what he wants in a relationship and thought we could have “something” together. I still can’t figure out why hanging out just ONE time could have led him to believe that suddenly we were in a relationship. I never bothered to answer him back, because I felt that by initiating more contact would make him continue to bother me, and I was in no mood.