My First Blind Date

I guess he was into handcuffs.
I guess he was into handcuffs.

When I was in my twenties, I entered a contest at a club in Miami (that’s another blog entry in itself), where I met Lissa for the first time. We’ve been friends ever since, but back then I didn’t realize the extent of her bad sense of judgment when it came to men. I should have known when Lissa hooked me up on a blind date with a guy that she claimed was a millionaire. I had no idea what this man looked like or anything about him. He had a foreign name that sounded similar to asshole, he was a businessman and “had a lot of money,” as she put it. I’d never been out with anyone that “had a lot of money,” so I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

She told me to pack a suitcase. I was like huh??? She said to pack a suitcase, and bring a really nice cocktail dress. She wouldn’t tell me what was going on until I made her, because I damn sure wasn’t going to be pimped out to a strange man overnight. Lissa confessed he was planning on flying us to New York for dinner. New York??? That seemed a little extreme to me, especially for a blind date. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable with that at all, that I know nothing about this man, and I’m not flying anywhere. Instead, I agreed to meet him at his house on the water, we’d go to dinner and then a helicopter ride. Sounded fine to me.

I arrived at his house, which was pretty much a mansion, or at least it was to me. When he greeted me, I was shocked at how absolutely 100% I was NOT attracted to him, but I gave it a chance anyway. We went to dinner at an Italian restaurant and then on the helicopter ride, which was really cool. Still, I wasn’t feeling it with this guy at all. We went back to his house and had a couple of drinks. He said I could stay the night in his guest room. Okay. So I attempt to go to sleep. I could tell the sheets hadn’t been changed, which grossed me out. Then things got really weird.

Now this was before everyone had cell phones, so I had no way to communicate with anyone or to scream at my friend for setting me up with this situation. The guy was a total weirdo. I could hear him pacing back and forth, back and forth for hours. I wasn’t sure if he was snorting coke or what. He came into the room and lay down on the bed next to me. I cringed. I pretended to be asleep. I know he wanted to get it on, but I wasn’t about to let that happen. I just wanted to get the fuck out, but I wanted to be sober enough to do it. At some point, I didn’t care if I had alcohol in my system or not – I was ready to get the hell out of there and never look back.

I grabbed my shit and hauled ass out of there. He was still up and around, asking why I was leaving. I made some excuse that I couldn’t sleep (which was true) and I needed to feed my cats or something.

Fast forward years later… this guy winds up in the local news for miscellaneous things, including beating his girlfriend. So not only is he disgusting to look at, his personality sucks and he’s a woman beater. Ugh.

I never let Lissa hook me up ever again.