Long John, the Pilot

He loved my ass, but he was an ass.

He loved my ass, but he was an ass.

When I was about 22, I worked as a secretary for a large company. Even though we had about 100 employees, there were never any guys that piqued my interest… except this one that came in to work temporarily. About 10 years older, he was a pilot fresh out of school and caught the eyes of all of the females that worked there. We were immediately attracted to each other. He was tall, short dark curly hair, blue eyes, very nice build, and intelligent. I’ll just call him Long John, because he had a huge dick.

I believe it was he that started the conversation, and we exchanged numbers. Long John asked me out to dinner, we planned lunch together, and eventually he made dinner at his place. All of this happened within a week, so it was pretty quick. I thought nothing of it at the time, given that I was very inexperienced with actual dating.

Then the red flags started. By the end of the week, he’d told me how great I’d look in a wedding dress. It was flattering, but I wasn’t looking to be married anytime soon. My cousin (a female) visited me while Long John was at my house, and he became jealous, because I wasn’t giving him attention. Even my cousin noticed this and thought it was strange. And then one night when we had some drinks, I noticed Long John’s entire personality change… to the point that I was fearful of making the wrong move.

Prior to meeting Long John, I’d arranged a cruise to the Bahamas. My friend bailed out on me, so I ended up going by myself. I needed a ride to the port, which was hours away, so Long John offered to drive. It was the longest, most awkward drive, because he acted like a dick and hardly spoke to me. He seemed angry that I was going on this cruise without him, even though I’d arranged it months prior. At that point, I wouldn’t have wanted him to go anyway, because he was acting like he owned me. The last mistake he made before dropping me off was telling me that he didn’t trust that I was going to be by myself.

When I came back to port, I had no one to pick me up, because Long John decided not to. I had to call someone and wait for hours for a ride. It was probably a good thing, because during my trip, I had a lot of time to think and realized I didn’t want anything more to do with Long John.

At work, he ended up calling in sick (which I knew was a lie) and then just stopped showing up. I was glad, because I didn’t need to deal with his awkward jealous glares. I’ve never seen or heard from him again. Not a bad thing.

A Few Times I Dated Pilots

I just wanna fly...

I just wanna fly…

(**Note: I’m still going thru my old scrapbook stories, so many of my newer posts are derived from that.)

I used to live in an area where there was a flight school, so whenever my friends and I went out, we’d always meet pilots. I was probably in my late 20s when I met a pilot from Venezuela. He was in his 30s, and we hit it off immediately. I thought he had a lot of class, intelligence, and was attractive. He’d told me he’d been divorced for 7 months, but hadn’t been together with the wife “in a long time”.

I was really looking forward to getting to know him better, but after the crooked married cop situation, I decided to do a little research. Lo and behold, there was no divorce. When confronted, he became defensive and thought I was being ridiculous. I told him to call me when the divorce was final. I got a call from him a few months later at the beginning of the summer, and supposedly the papers were signed. Then the asshole stood me up for a date.

At the end of July, I bumped into him at a club where he introduced me to his new girlfriend. Four months later, they were engaged. Fly away, birdie, fly away!

Another pilot I met at a Best Buy while we were both arguing with the jerk at the computer repair dept. He seemed really cool, only a couple years older, and he was kind of hot. The first night we went out, he said, “I think I could fall in love with you.”

That was waaayyy too soon for a first date, and it completely scared me off, so I never called him again. I saw him around a few more times, and he thought I hated him. I didn’t hate him, but I was certainly not ready for the “L” word either.