Camping Trip From Hell

I could take him down.
I could take him down.

Last night I posted about being a rebound girl with Big Liar. I wanted to continue this story and be done with it in two posts, because I have much sexier things to blog about. (I just want to keep you all hanging. 😉 )

Big Liar eventually apologized for hurting me, which was a huge surprise, because he’s not one for admitting wrongdoing. I think he did it for his own selfish reasons, because he needed me to do things for him since no one else was around. Yes, I was a sucker. But at the same time, I needed the work he was providing me, because my regular job hours had been cut so drastically that I was in survival mode. It was either that or have no money for groceries. Shitty choices.

At some point, Big Liar and I went on a completely miserable camping trip. Why I agreed to this, I don’t know. Perhaps because we were on normal speaking terms again, I hadn’t met anyone else at that point, and I hadn’t been camping since college. It sounded like fun – plus, he was supposed to be “experienced” and told me about all of the fun stuff we’d do. (I’ll remind you here that he had no driver’s license, so I had to drive his truck.)

Thankfully, I know enough about surviving in the woods to take necessities that he didn’t – like plenty of water and food and eating utensils and baby wipes and blankets. He had two tents, one of which didn’t stand up, a couple of blowup mattresses that didn’t hold air very well, hunting rifles, a knife, and a dead flashlight.

Big Liar’s idea of camping was making a fire in 85-degree weather and sitting around drinking, beginning at 8 a.m. I told him that’s not camping – that’s what homeless people do. And then I laughed hysterically, because instinctively, by then I knew I was fucked.

Big Liar literally drank all day while I found things to do around the campsite, like cook and clean, take a walk, look at the lake and read a book. I was really bored and disappointed, because I felt like I was by myself. In fact, I thought to myself, I could have had a better time by myself and have been way better prepared had I known this would happen. He was so wasted by dinner he threatened me when I tried to make him stop drinking “my” beer (I had 4 for the entire trip, he had beer, Jack, and Fireball). I was scared for a minute, because it was then that I realized here I was alone with this ass (absolutely no one was left on the camping grounds), he had weapons, he was wasted, and since he’d never shown any signs of violence prior, I’m not exactly sure what he’s capable of… but I knew that I was stronger, have better balance and sober, and if I really had to, I’d kick the shit out of him and throw his ass in the fire. Fifteen seconds after he threatened me he remembered nothing about it. I knew I had to leave, if not for my safety, then for my sanity.

Eventually, he passed out around 7 p.m. and snored like a wild hog. The fire went out, hardly any firewood was left, and the flashlight was dead. I was using my phone’s flashlight to get around. This is when I took this perfect opportunity to look at Big Liar’s phone. I wouldn’t normally have looked at anyone’s phone, but I felt something was up, and he’d already lied to me more than once. Besides, he’d left me by myself with nothing else to do in the dark. What was a girl to do all alone?

Oh. My. God. I was being so played! Big Liar had been sexting several other women, getting blowjobs from his 66-year-old divorce attorney’s secretary (in return for reduced fees!), begging other women for nude photos and trying to take other ones out to dinner (even though he couldn’t drive). I had been the sucker driving his ass all over town to his court appointments and whatever else he needed, cooking for him and whatever else he had me doing to help him out. Then I saw “babysitter porn” (the legal kind, but nevertheless) and I about lost it, because of the age of his kids. It was sickening. My head was spinning and aching.

I was shaking as I was reading through it all… and Big Liar snored loudly throughout the night. I packed my shit, took his keys, and drove away, leaving him there… I got to the gate and it was locked for the night, and I didn’t have the code on the lock to leave. All I wanted to do was go home, but I was stuck. I had to go back, attempted to stay in his truck and charge my phone because I was using it as a flashlight and it had died – and then the fucking truck battery died! I truly felt like I was in my own horror movie. It was pitch black, the fire was mostly out, and I couldn’t even see where to squat to take a piss.

Everything in my life became crystal clear to me at that point. It was like a reawakening, an epiphany… I didn’t sleep the entire night but pretended to, got up shortly after daybreak and said, “Let’s go, I have to go into work today,” and began throwing everything into the bed of the truck. Big Liar refused to pack, refused to leave, had already started drinking at 7 a.m., somehow had jumped the truck battery, and had hidden the truck key. I found an area in the park that had an outlet to charge my phone, called my boss to pick me up, which was embarrassing, but she understood. All I wanted to do was go home.

That evening, Big Liar “yelled” at me by text that I left him there and no one was around to drive him. Boo-hoo! He claimed he had to drive himself back all alone without a license and could have been pulled over. Again, boo-hoo! I’d wished he’d gotten pulled over, because he was drunker than shit driving down a main highway on an already drunken driving suspended license, so he’d have deserved it. I’m just glad he didn’t hurt anyone else. After that, I ignored him.

Two months later, I found out Big Liar been trying to work things out with his ex-wife (by then they were divorced) around the holidays. He came by my house after the holidays to “say hi” one night when he was wasted, and when I asked him about them getting back together he said it wasn’t working out. We’d both been drinking, we made out, because I was just stupid and weak… No sex, because he can’t get it up.

A week later, I got an email from his ex-wife that she wanted to talk, because “we may be dealing with the same habitual liar” and that she had given him the benefit of the doubt and they were trying to work things out. I apologized and told her everything I knew, and Big Liar blamed me for everything, claiming I made up lies about all of the other women (even though I had physical evidence), that somehow I had hacked into his phone and made it look like he sent those messages to other women and that I was obsessed with him. Mmm-kay.

When Big Liar unexpectedly stopped by my house drunk a few weeks ago (while I was broadcasting on MFC no less!), I refused to open the door and immediately told his ex, because she and I still talk. Unfortunately, he still lives down the street… and got his license back the other day. I highly suspect another driving under the influence arrest will happen in the near future.

I want no part of his loser ass whatsoever. The end.

And There Are These Guys…

For anyone promoting themselves in the adult industry, social media is a great avenue to use. Of course in this type of business, getting numerous messages can be daunting. When I first started, I took the time to try to answer everyone, even if it was just with a smiley face. But when I started getting hundreds of friend requests, messages, etc. to sort through on each site (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), it became so time consuming I just had to give up on it. I learned quickly that these aren’t ever going to be paying customers.

Some of them are really nice. Some not so much. Of course there are the unsolicited dick pics. Most are time wasters and freeloaders.

 

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Telling me all of the details… but not asking for anything.

 

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Freeloader.

 

Some are just huge pains in the asses that think they are entitled to my attention. Like this guy.

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Douche.

 

Psycho Marine’s Issues and More Red Flags – Pt. 2

Sexting a psycho
Sexting a psycho

I only saw Psycho Marine a few more times over a few weeks, mostly because of my busy work schedule and our living distance. He became extremely demanding and pissy when I wasn’t able to accommodate him by hanging out every time he’d asked or able to answer his texts immediately (red flag #4). I was seeing these signs but ignoring them, because I knew I wasn’t going to have an actual relationship with him outside of our sexual escapades. But his demands began to wear on me and eventually caused me to distance myself, and I began to find him unattractive.

I like all sorts of sexual positions, but I really enjoy being on top due to the ability to control the depth of the penis, clitoral stimulation, and motion of the ocean. Every time we switched positions and I got on top, Psycho Marine lost his hard on. Combined with his dysfunction, he’d said some things that made me realize he had huge mommy issues. One thing in particular was when he called his own mother a cunt. Red flag #5. He had nothing nice to say about her.

Psycho Marine thought it was a good idea to introduce me to his kid on the second date (red flag #6). Waaayyyyy too early for that! I thought it was terrible parenting.

Over a course of only three weeks and maybe a handful of times hanging out, Psycho Marine became psycho. He didn’t seem to care one bit when I wasn’t feeling well, didn’t even thank me for bringing him homemade soup when he was sick (red flag #7). Psycho Marine rarely smiled and always complained about and blamed everyone else for his failures in life (red flag #8). He didn’t keep jobs for long, and of course that was always someone else’s fault.

Again with his demands and his inability to understand that I was technically not yet a single woman, he needed much more attention than I was able to grant him. His text messages resorted to very childish behavior when I was too exhausted after work to make the 30 min drive to his house, responding with things like “whatever” and other selfish behaviors like deleting me as a Facebook friend when he wouldn’t get his way (red flag #9).

Red flag #10 took some time to realize, because we’d only seen each other a few times. I noticed that we only communicated thru Facebook messenger; I didn’t even have his phone number. I started to take notice that Psycho Marine never seemed to have time for me on weekends, which I considered odd. One of the last times I visited his house was when he confessed he was hanging out with one of his ex-lovers “just as friends” by taking her to a basketball game… on a weekend. I called bullshit on the “just as friends” part.

The very last straw was when Psycho Marine and I were texting and he was demanding a nudie pic. I told him to send one to me first. He wouldn’t. I suggested seeing each other that evening. He made the excuse he was driving to visit his male friend in another city two hours away. I knew it was a bold faced lie, because it was 10 o’clock or so in the evening and what man is going to drive two hours at that time of night to see another man? It was bullshit. I had suspected he’d been seeing someone else behind my back. It was my last message to him, but I basically told him to fuck off, then I blocked HIM before he could do it to me.

Just as I’d suspected, he’d been on Plenty of Fish searching for his next victim. I decided to make up a fake profile just to fuck with him. After the first message, he demanded that I meet with him (he had no idea it was me) and made some other unreasonable demands before I got bored with fucking around and deleted my fake profile.

A few months later, I spied on his Facebook page to see he’d found himself a new relationship. I felt bad for the new woman, because I cannot imagine the crap he put her through. A few more months later, they got married (his third) and only a few months after that a new baby arrived. All I can say is: better her than me!

Forgotten Hookups

Sexting my legs
Sexting my legs

What a weird weekend! Maybe it’s the full moon or something – but I heard from several different guys I hadn’t heard from in a LONG time. My phone was dinging with text messages with both potential and old hookups, but I simply wasn’t interested in any of them.

One was from a 20-something guy I’d met a few years ago after a night of drinking. I’ll just refer to him as Mr. Bush, because I had to tell him to trim that shit up. We stayed in touch for quite some time, but I hadn’t heard from him since last summer. Never bothered to say hello, how are you, kiss my ass, nothing… but proceeded to send me a random text wanting to hook up – as if I’ve spent the last year of my life waiting for him (**chuckles**). Of course, by now his number is no longer in my phone, so I’m like who’s this? Not only does he tell me, but he also includes – get this – a mostly limp dick pic and his unshaved bush. I happened to be out with my friends, so I shared the pic with them for some great laughs and wtf faces. I told Mr. Bush I wasn’t available, he begged and begged, and I ignored him. Then he actually called me (gasp!), and I could tell he’d been drinking, which is probably the only reason I was hearing from him. I not-so-politely told him to go fuck himself and haven’t heard from him since.

A 30-something guy that I’d met on Tinder two years ago also sent me a text wanting to sext. I will refer to him as Banana Dick, because his dick was long and curved like a banana. Again, I had no idea who it was, because I do not keep numbers for long. Who’s this?

Him: “####, we met on tinder and fucked twice”.

Seriously, this was a few years ago, and I’ve had my fair share of forgotten hookups since. Once I established who he was, I reminded him we only fucked once (he was too controlling and into himself for me to want to do it again). He said we fucked twice the same night. Semantics. He was passing thru my city, thought of me, and got horny. Flattering. He wanted me to send him pics, so I just sent him a pic of my legs. He wanted more, and I wasn’t falling for it. Told me how horny he was thinking about me. Then he BEGGED me to call him so he could hear my voice, because it would make him get off faster. I’m sitting there thinking WTF?!! Where do these guys get off thinking I’m just here and available without any life whatsoever waiting on them for years? Fucking narcissists. I made the excuse that I had to charge my phone. He was so desperate, it made me giggle that I had control of this little bitch.

Another forgotten hookup wasn’t actually forgotten completely. I’d seen him on a dating site a few years ago and discovered he’d never left it. He contacted me begging to hang out again, and then I remembered why I wasn’t interested. Although he had beautiful mesmerizing eyes, his breath was terrible and the sex wasn’t enough to die for. Plus, he lives with his mom. Three strikes. No thanks.