Other Sh*t Camgirls Put Up With

I should stand on their balls.

I should stand on their balls.

If you’re unfamiliar with cam sites, there’s a chat room where fans hang out and can chat, make comments, etc., while viewing the camgirl on video. Sometimes people sit in the room saying nothing at all, watching everything for free, not even saying hello and certainly not tipping.

Then there are the ones that actually do have a pleasant conversation, which keeps the room lively and helps the camgirl feel like she’s not talking to herself. This also makes the camgirl want to stay on camera instead of turning it off and doing her nails.

And then there are these guys… losers only looking to play for free and take attention out of the chat room. They usually send private messages, but once you tell them you charge for that, they quickly leave. They’re the biggest and most annoying time-wasters of all, usually going from room to room hoping to get lucky.

For example – I told this guy I’d watch him for 50 tokens. (Most do not have tokens or aren’t willing to pay.) I never heard from him again, and I don’t believe he has a “model following” as he claims. Most of them are completely full of shit.

Hi! My cam is on for you right now and I am dying to show off my 9 inch cock to you! I’ve got a following of models who enjoy watching me stroke and tease my cock for them until I cum. My cam is on, can you see?

This one copies and pastes the same comments each time and never tips. I tell them they cannot demand or ask things of the model without tipping. Models get annoyed, because there usually isn’t just one or two or even three guys asking for free things in chat. We’re not there to entertain you for free. Most models have “room rules”, one of the main is to have respect.  Just because we are online partly clothed doesn’t mean you have the right to order us around. We have a job, which sometimes makes half of minimum wage when the room is full of cheap assholes like this:

will you read something for me please???

read aloud please….missy your husband kenny wants your mom rosetta to watch him masturbate

please

i want my wife to hear you

would you like to see my mother in laws picture

she is next to me now

you can show it on cam so everyone can see her

pm me your snapchat username so i can send it to you

you can block me after you get the pic

This stuff happens each time I cam, and since repeating myself is a pet peeve of mine, you can imagine how annoyed I get. Besides, other guests in the room don’t care to see that either. From now on, any time someone asks me to do something without tipping, I’m going to kick them out temporarily as a punishment. I should probably learn more about “punishment”…

Work vs Private Life as a Cam Girl

My boobs are real during private and work hours.

My boobs are real during private and work hours.

Writing this blog has been therapeutic. It’s allowing me to remind myself of the mistakes of my past and the patterns that keep emerging. It also reminds me the importance of keeping the balance between my work and personal endeavors, which are often combined.

One of the things that I deal with on a daily basis is men that I personally know asking me tons of personal questions and expecting me to send them photos and/or vids for free, taking both private and work time away from my activities. When I’m in the mood, I might give in, but for them to expect it kind of pisses me off. I am charging strange men for the same thing, so what makes these guys think they’re so special? This is one of the things I am changing about myself… limiting my time with freeloaders that won’t even offer to take me out on a real date. Not only is it another reminder of how selfish people can be, it also turns me off. And working in this field, I need to be turned on as much as possible. 🙂

Since I work from home, my private and work life are also intertwined here. I live in a place about the size of a shoebox, which worked fine when I was working out of the home. But now I’m feeling the squeeze with very little space to conduct shows, store items that are auctioned off, and my “office space” creating a mess in my living room. Between the lighting I use for camming and the desk area full of paperwork, I don’t exactly like inviting people over, because it just seems too crowded and messy now, and I don’t always have time to break down everything and hide it. So I’m considering a move within the next six months to a year, depending on how my financial situation works out with this gig.

And here’s another dilemma: telling people what I actually do for a living. The other job that cut my hours hasn’t needed me at all for the last two months. (This was no surprise, which is why I started working in the adult industry – cannot rely on employers anymore!) I’ve always managed to do multiple jobs anyway, so I come up with things to tell people – photo editing and writing projects (which is all true), and I leave it at that.

My family knows nothing about this, and I don’t feel I need to tell them a thing until I start making a really decent, steady income. A handful of my guy friends know, some of which have been helpful. Other than that, I’ve only been able to tell one of my female friends. I’m pretty sure the rest would feel differently about me and look down upon me for promoting “porn” – which is something most of them have complained about with their husbands. So I can’t exactly say ummm yeah, I’m doing something that you absolutely hate your husband looking at. I do feel that at some point, I’m going to be discovered either by someone that knows and feels the need to out me or perhaps recognizes me. I’m not sure I’m ready for that to happen yet, but when it does, I’m going to use it to my advantage.

Bawh-ston – Part 4

I wanted to stomp on his face.

I wanted to stomp on his face.

Bawh-ston – Part 1
Bawh-ston – Part 2
Bawh-ston – Part 3

Once I realized I was being played, I was not a happy camper. Bawh-ston was avoiding me for what? It didn’t make sense to me, because I know I hadn’t done anything wrong. When someone spends nearly every night with you and suddenly stops without any explanation, it just makes you go hmmmm… Not to mention, it was a blow to my self-esteem after a difficult divorce, because at this point my ex was in a new full-blown relationship.

The following week was St. Patrick’s Day, and I knew that Bawh-ston would be enjoying the festivities instead of paying me back the money he owed. He didn’t even invite me, but instead met his friend out (Samira saw him). I wanted to show up at the bar and give him a piece of my mind, but I was coming down with the flu and felt like complete shit.

Instead, I called and told him how I felt about the way he was treating me. He said I didn’t need an invitation, to meet him at the bar. I reminded him that he hadn’t spoken to me all week and that he still owed me money. He said he didn’t have the money this week (but he could still afford to drink at the bar). I could hear loudness in the background and him having a good time for himself. I was furious and hung up. I was so furious I called him right back and told him that I was going out with my friends and maybe I’ll meet a real man. He didn’t know I was sick, so he must have believed me, because he said go right ahead. I couldn’t believe he acted like he didn’t care. So while he was out drinking green beer, I was downing Nyquil, feeling miserable in many ways.

Less than three months later, Bawh-ston is “in a relationship” according to Facebook. I thought it was a joke, because he had just turned 44 years old, and this girl was only like 22 – the same age as his daughter for which he was still paying back child support! Nope, not a joke, because I’d learned they moved in together. So I called him up again asking for the money he owed me. His response?

“You want me to pay you for a date we went on together?” And he laughed about it. Talk about the wrong thing for him to do to someone he jilted and ripped off! I told him that he was a “looo-sah” of a man that had to have women pay for him.

To get him back, I waited about a month or so and had a friend send him random nude photos from her Tracfone saying she wanted to see him again. He actually fell for it for a little while until she sent some that didn’t have matching tattoos. (He still doesn’t know who was behind it. 😉 )

I learned earlier this year that Bawh-ston and the girl had a baby. Better her than me! Finally… the END of Bawh-ston!

Bawh-ston – Part 3

Wishing I was on the back of a Harley...

Wishing I was on the back of a Harley…

Bawh-ston Part 1

Bawh-ston Part 2

Bawh-ston and I ended up dating for less than three months. During those months, he was spending the night at my place probably five times a week. He had been living with a roommate and when the lease was up he moved in with his cousin, supposedly looking for his own place.

I cooked dinner for us (I paid for groceries) most nights, sometimes breakfast on the weekends. And I’m not talking hamburger helper here. If you’ve seen me on cam in the kitchen, I cook up some pretty good stuff that’s not cheap. Once a week he would get takeout, usually Chinese or sushi. He took me on an actual date once during the entire time we dated to a sushi place and then his favorite bar (where we were introduced). He was the first guy I went out with in public since my separation/divorce, which had been about a year prior, so that was big for me. I managed to get him to help me do some things around the house, like mow the lawn (once) and “fix” things my slumlord didn’t do. One of the last things I got him to do was help me move into my new place.

Around the end of month two, Bawh-ston and I went to a concert. Since the tickets had to be purchased together online and I was the only one with a credit card, he said he’d pay me back in cash, buy dinner that evening and drive. Tickets were $160 each. He gave me $100 and promised to give me the rest next payday. I ended up making us steak dinner, driving, paying for parking, and buying my own $10 beer. He acted like a fucking douche the entire night, walking ahead of me and ignoring me and being pissy. I suppose it was because he had spent all of his money on beer and pot instead of being a man and doing what he promised. Either way, the entire thing really pissed me off, because not only did he screw me on promises, he was treating me like shit on top of it – and I knew I didn’t deserve that.

At the time, I had just started a new job and barely scraping by, so now this started to become an issue. I was newly divorced and in a lot of debt from that, moving, and being unemployed for 5 months. I definitely could not afford to foot the bill on a grown ass man!

Shortly after the concert incident, I texted Bawh-ston on a Saturday during a huge event in the city suggesting that instead of spending money (that I didn’t have), we could buy some beer and sit by the river. It was a beautiful day. He said he was having lunch at the bar. I knew that meant – “lunch” was going to end up being the rest of the day at the bar. He stopped answering my text messages altogether, so I was fuming, and I began to wonder if he’d met someone else. Samira saw him at the bar dancing around like a moron, so she recorded it and posted it to Facebook. He was by himself in a mostly empty bar.

Apparently, he was pissed at me for posting on Facebook earlier that week that I’d rather be on the back of a Harley than working that day. He took offense to that, because he doesn’t own a Harley, but instead of being a man about it, he chose to ignore me. Here we go, I thought, another fucking insecure asshole I’m dealing with here.

To be continued…

And There Are These Guys…

For anyone promoting themselves in the adult industry, social media is a great avenue to use. Of course in this type of business, getting numerous messages can be daunting. When I first started, I took the time to try to answer everyone, even if it was just with a smiley face. But when I started getting hundreds of friend requests, messages, etc. to sort through on each site (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), it became so time consuming I just had to give up on it. I learned quickly that these aren’t ever going to be paying customers.

Some of them are really nice. Some not so much. Of course there are the unsolicited dick pics. Most are time wasters and freeloaders.

 

unnamed-8

Telling me all of the details… but not asking for anything.

 

unnamed-9

Freeloader.

 

Some are just huge pains in the asses that think they are entitled to my attention. Like this guy.

screen-shot-2016-09-11-at-8-15-30-pm

Douche.