Other Sh*t Camgirls Put Up With

I should stand on their balls.

I should stand on their balls.

If you’re unfamiliar with cam sites, there’s a chat room where fans hang out and can chat, make comments, etc., while viewing the camgirl on video. Sometimes people sit in the room saying nothing at all, watching everything for free, not even saying hello and certainly not tipping.

Then there are the ones that actually do have a pleasant conversation, which keeps the room lively and helps the camgirl feel like she’s not talking to herself. This also makes the camgirl want to stay on camera instead of turning it off and doing her nails.

And then there are these guys… losers only looking to play for free and take attention out of the chat room. They usually send private messages, but once you tell them you charge for that, they quickly leave. They’re the biggest and most annoying time-wasters of all, usually going from room to room hoping to get lucky.

For example – I told this guy I’d watch him for 50 tokens. (Most do not have tokens or aren’t willing to pay.) I never heard from him again, and I don’t believe he has a “model following” as he claims. Most of them are completely full of shit.

Hi! My cam is on for you right now and I am dying to show off my 9 inch cock to you! I’ve got a following of models who enjoy watching me stroke and tease my cock for them until I cum. My cam is on, can you see?

This one copies and pastes the same comments each time and never tips. I tell them they cannot demand or ask things of the model without tipping. Models get annoyed, because there usually isn’t just one or two or even three guys asking for free things in chat. We’re not there to entertain you for free. Most models have “room rules”, one of the main is to have respect.  Just because we are online partly clothed doesn’t mean you have the right to order us around. We have a job, which sometimes makes half of minimum wage when the room is full of cheap assholes like this:

will you read something for me please???

read aloud please….missy your husband kenny wants your mom rosetta to watch him masturbate

please

i want my wife to hear you

would you like to see my mother in laws picture

she is next to me now

you can show it on cam so everyone can see her

pm me your snapchat username so i can send it to you

you can block me after you get the pic

This stuff happens each time I cam, and since repeating myself is a pet peeve of mine, you can imagine how annoyed I get. Besides, other guests in the room don’t care to see that either. From now on, any time someone asks me to do something without tipping, I’m going to kick them out temporarily as a punishment. I should probably learn more about “punishment”…

Work vs Private Life as a Cam Girl

My boobs are real during private and work hours.

My boobs are real during private and work hours.

Writing this blog has been therapeutic. It’s allowing me to remind myself of the mistakes of my past and the patterns that keep emerging. It also reminds me the importance of keeping the balance between my work and personal endeavors, which are often combined.

One of the things that I deal with on a daily basis is men that I personally know asking me tons of personal questions and expecting me to send them photos and/or vids for free, taking both private and work time away from my activities. When I’m in the mood, I might give in, but for them to expect it kind of pisses me off. I am charging strange men for the same thing, so what makes these guys think they’re so special? This is one of the things I am changing about myself… limiting my time with freeloaders that won’t even offer to take me out on a real date. Not only is it another reminder of how selfish people can be, it also turns me off. And working in this field, I need to be turned on as much as possible. 🙂

Since I work from home, my private and work life are also intertwined here. I live in a place about the size of a shoebox, which worked fine when I was working out of the home. But now I’m feeling the squeeze with very little space to conduct shows, store items that are auctioned off, and my “office space” creating a mess in my living room. Between the lighting I use for camming and the desk area full of paperwork, I don’t exactly like inviting people over, because it just seems too crowded and messy now, and I don’t always have time to break down everything and hide it. So I’m considering a move within the next six months to a year, depending on how my financial situation works out with this gig.

And here’s another dilemma: telling people what I actually do for a living. The other job that cut my hours hasn’t needed me at all for the last two months. (This was no surprise, which is why I started working in the adult industry – cannot rely on employers anymore!) I’ve always managed to do multiple jobs anyway, so I come up with things to tell people – photo editing and writing projects (which is all true), and I leave it at that.

My family knows nothing about this, and I don’t feel I need to tell them a thing until I start making a really decent, steady income. A handful of my guy friends know, some of which have been helpful. Other than that, I’ve only been able to tell one of my female friends. I’m pretty sure the rest would feel differently about me and look down upon me for promoting “porn” – which is something most of them have complained about with their husbands. So I can’t exactly say ummm yeah, I’m doing something that you absolutely hate your husband looking at. I do feel that at some point, I’m going to be discovered either by someone that knows and feels the need to out me or perhaps recognizes me. I’m not sure I’m ready for that to happen yet, but when it does, I’m going to use it to my advantage.

And There Are These Guys…

For anyone promoting themselves in the adult industry, social media is a great avenue to use. Of course in this type of business, getting numerous messages can be daunting. When I first started, I took the time to try to answer everyone, even if it was just with a smiley face. But when I started getting hundreds of friend requests, messages, etc. to sort through on each site (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram), it became so time consuming I just had to give up on it. I learned quickly that these aren’t ever going to be paying customers.

Some of them are really nice. Some not so much. Of course there are the unsolicited dick pics. Most are time wasters and freeloaders.

 

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Telling me all of the details… but not asking for anything.

 

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Freeloader.

 

Some are just huge pains in the asses that think they are entitled to my attention. Like this guy.

screen-shot-2016-09-11-at-8-15-30-pm

Douche.

 

Haters Be Hatin’

Fuck the haters.

Fuck the haters.

It’s crucial to my job to put a smile on my face, because no one wants to look at a frowning chick on a webcam. If I’m in a bad mood, I stay off camera, since there is no need to take anything out on strangers that are trying to escape from their own worlds.

Sometimes people don’t understand that even though I sell fantasies, I am a real person with real feelings – and like everyone else, real problems. Most of the time people are super nice, but if I’m having an “off” day in my personal life, a smite comment can take the brightness out of the day. Usually, I can be thick-skinned and brush it off, so why does the comment continue to stick in my brain?

I was having one particularly bad weekend a few weeks ago. I had contacted my ex regarding something about our (adult) kid. It turned out to be no big deal, and he was pleasant about what I’d sent him. Two hours later, I get a hateful text from him saying that since I’ve moved on to never contact him about anything ever again. And then I’m pretty sure he blocked me. I was stunned. I showed the text to three different people – and every one of them said he didn’t send that, that his new girlfriend did. I realized they were right, because it was different from his “writing” and was totally something an insecure woman would say. The thing that really pisses me off is that they’ve been together since he and I were separated, and I purposely have gone out of my way trying to avoid them both in the small town we live in. And when I do see them, I either ignore them or if that’s impossible, wave a small “hello” and get on my way. I think that’s a pretty fair thing for me to do as an ex. So not only did this bitch create drama that never existed, her text brought up emotions that I thought I’d dealt with and reminded me of things I wanted to forget. It basically ruined my weekend, because it happened on Friday afternoon. Next time I run into him, I’m going to flat out ask if he really sent that text, whether or not she’s standing there, and hope karma bites her in the ass.

That same weekend, I had two chargebacks from deadbeat customers that were given a Skype show and canceled their payments. Fucking scamming cowards. I have zero tolerance for dishonesty and theft. This happened a third time this week. These people are essentially stealing my grocery money. Karma is a bitch.

And then came snide remarks from people online. I belong to some foot fetish groups on Facebook in which we post feet photos. If someone doesn’t like my feet, I don’t see the need to comment at all… just move onto something you do like, right? In one day alone, there were three or four dickhead comments. And then there are those people that create fake profiles on the camming sites with the sole purpose of insulting models. Of course, there were the great comments, so why do the negative ones seem to have more of an impact?

Friday FAQs – Why Are You a Cam Model?

I love sheer lingerie

I love sheer lingerie

I’m at a point in life in which if I’m not happy with my job, I’m going to find something else to do. I don’t believe in being unhappy every day, getting up and repeating. That’s just insanity. The high-security job I have/had (hours cut big time so I won’t be doing it for long) is a low-paying, extremely stressful rat race that often requires unpaid training and extra unpaid work hours. It got to the point that my job was literally making me sick, resulting in medical bills that I couldn’t afford. When my hours were cut, it was just one more thing to drive me into another direction. But I was confused as to what direction I should go, because nothing inspired me.

An older friend knows that I am a much happier person when I’m self-employed. She suggested finding something that I’m good at and enjoy, and go to work for myself. I’m independent and work much better alone than with groups. I’ve never felt like I have ever “fit in” anywhere, and I’m really a nonconformist when it comes to rules or expectations of certain careers. I racked my brain thinking what can I do that I enjoy that is also profitable?

While I am good at many things, I’m not an expert at anything. I have very diverse interests and talents, but it seems like I’d tried it all before with only minimal success (mainly because most of it required me to be somewhat of a sales person, which is not me by any means). Everyone knows that sex sells (without much effort, I might add), so I thought maybe I can combine the talents I enjoy (writing, modeling, blogging, etc.) with sex. But how? Because I certainly wasn’t going to prostitute myself out.

A friend had (jokingly?) suggested I should be a cam model, because I’d sent him a short video of me pleasing myself. But I told him I wouldn’t know where to begin. I’d never done such a thing, and I didn’t know anything about being a cam model. Besides, how can I compete with a bunch of 20-somethings with perfect firm bodies? Then I learned that there are plenty of men out there enjoying cougar cam models, some my own age that prefer someone with a maturity level of their own. Others are younger men that have cougar fantasies. Perfect, I thought, that’s how I will market myself.

Within a week, I ended up meeting someone that manages cam models. I tried to get more info out of him, but he was unreliable. Another week or so later, I met someone else that introduced me to My Free Cams, because his ex-girlfriend used to do it. I decided that this was no coincidence – three times within a couple of weeks was a sign that I needed to do more investigating and get on board.

As of this writing, it’s been almost 4 weeks since I signed up and broadcasted my first cam show. It’s definitely a learning curve between figuring out how to navigate the site, setting up my room for shows, and promoting myself. Within that time, I’ve worked half of the hours and made the same money doing the other job I hated. I make my own hours and work from home. My goal is to continue building clients and income, and eventually, this will lead to following other dreams that nothing else I’ve done has provided.

 

My First Webcam Experience

To Show or Not to Show?

To Show or Not to Show?

Never in my life would I have thought that I’d try to be a webcam model. I’m a very private person and wouldn’t want to be “found out” by anyone that shouldn’t know what I’m doing. (That’s why you don’t see photos of my face anywhere.)

A few weeks ago an old friend said to me I should try it, that I’d probably make good money. I told him I wouldn’t even know where to begin, because I know nothing about it. Coincidentally, about a week later I met someone that recruits women for it, but he proved to be unreliable. A few days later, I met yet another person whose ex-girlfriend was a cam model. So here I am thinking this is certainly a sign that I should take a serious look into this. He informed me of a site that features women only, and I signed up. It took a few days to be approved (you have to show proof of age, etc.), then I created my profile and tried to figure out how the site works.

I viewed some other webcam models’ pages to see what they were doing to get an idea of what I was getting myself into. Most of them seemed to be young girls, probably college age. How was I going to compete with that, I thought. I did a search for “cougar” to see if anyone my own age came up, and there were less than a handful online. Perfect! This is how I’m going to market myself, because there are plenty of men that prefer women my age. Some of the younger models seemed to be giving it all away for free, so I’m not sure how they make any money doing this. Others sat there talking to people in chat. One woman looked absolutely miserable and just sat there looking like she was ready to cry; I felt sorry for her and wondered wtf she was doing on there to begin with.

Monday afternoon was my first cam show. I spent several hours off and on throughout the day learning how to work the site. I wore a white top with lace on the bottom that was a bit see-through if you looked hard enough. It was long enough to cover my ass, so I could easily lift it to reveal one of my favorite silky black thongs. Apparently, when you first start broadcasting, the site shows you as a new model, so people can easily find anyone on there. My “room” filled quickly with voyeurs and chatters. I had NO idea what I was doing. Some people were very helpful and advising me what not to do. Of course, there were the typical assholes that wanted to see everything for free and others saying some pretty weird shit. I had several pop-up windows with private messages that I didn’t know I shouldn’t answer (it takes attention off of the room chat – and then you lose those people who may be the tippers). You can also view the men if they have a webcam turned on, so some were asking me to watch them on cam while they jerked off, another one wanting me to watch him stick something up his hairy asshole. It was definitely a learning experience.

I made some tips in regular chat, then had the opportunity for “group chat” in which at least 3 members have to agree to go to a group to see a semi-private show. I had one awesome tipper. Within about an hour and a half or so I made $100. That was incentive enough to want to go on again, which I did later that evening. I had a “private show” (one person) that allowed me to go beyond my goal for the day. He was also a very helpful member in showing me the ropes of the site. Some of my friends logged on to let me know I was doing a great job and offered some supportive tips. My night ended successfully, and I beat my original goal.

On Tuesday, I set my goal to be the same as Monday. But it seemed MUCH slower than Monday. (I’ve always hated Tuesdays anyway!) I had to really work at it to make about half of what I had made previously for a lot more hours. I had one young guy that was into older women tipping me to do stripteases to some hair band music. That was actually fun, but a little exhausting. Then I did two group shows. The tips were nowhere near what they were on Monday – and this time I was wearing a black bra and panty set, so less than the day before. Hmmm…???

The next day, I was so sore from dancing and moving in ways my body wasn’t used to. It was difficult to get up from the couch! I spent the day running around gathering new outfits so that I could do some camming in the evening and make up for Tuesday’s unfinished goal. I dressed in a black thong (I have several),  a revealing black cover-up top that opened in the front and black stiletto fuck-me boots. logged on and waited a little bit, but no one was coming to my room. Maybe it’s too early, I thought. Maybe it’s a bad day of the week? I waited. And waited. Seriously, wtf is going on? It was nothing like the previous two days. Where the hell was everyone? Monday was definitely the best and most lucrative. How odd is that!

Well… then one of my new friends informed that I was no longer showing up as a “new model.” Huh?? I’m on day 3 and I’m no longer new? What’s going on? I emailed support, and surprisingly, I got an immediate reply. Models are only “new” during their first ten hours of broadcasting. What!!! I’d spent about half of those trying to figure out how the site works. As you can imagine, I was extremely disappointed. How are people going to find me now? I have a few friends that could only find me because I’d told them my screen name. Now what? I have goals to pay off some hefty medical bills… so how am I going to do it if no one can find me? Any suggestions?