Amusing Text Messages to a Cougar MILF

Amusing myself with unmatched panties.

Amusing myself with unmatched panties.

I have to turn my ringer off at night, because sometimes I get these random messages at times when no one should be contacting me unless it’s an emergency.

This one, for example, came from a guy from out of town that I met about four years ago right after my breakup. It was probably the worst sex of my life. He was 33 and had no idea what he was doing in bed. I never saw him again, although he did text me once in a while. But this was the last text I ever received, and we hadn’t communicated in some time, so this was clearly out of nowhere. I think he got the hint.

Clueless

Clueless

This comes from a friend that I have hooked up with once or twice. He has some pretty interesting stories and fantasies that we discuss. He may or may not be reading my blog material… 😉 But he sends the same messages asking the same damn questions, and I don’t have time to text all day long, because that’s how it ends up when I do answer him.

New material, please.

New material, please.

I like to f*ck with wrong numbers. This one amused the hell out of me but apparently not them. I was hoping to keep the conversation going. 😉

LOL

Maybe Lexi isn’t sexy.

9 thoughts on “Amusing Text Messages to a Cougar MILF

  1. Ha I love fucking with wrong numbers too the best are when you get to actually talk to them it’s also amazing how stupid people are especially when calling to place an order for carry out I used to work at an Italian restaurant and we would have to say the same thing when we answered the phone the name of the business and the place were located even though it was a family owned no franchise ma and pa Italion restaurant we would have to say “Alfredo’s in West Bend! What can I get you ” After 1000 times of saying that you end up getting kind of bored and fucking with people so I would say Alfredo’s in Zimbabwe how can I take your order? And 10 out of 10 times they were just yell their order and never question the fact that I’m making random noises with my mouth 👄 ,speaking like an AfricanT or the fact that I would slip in “would you like any poop with that?” Cmon people

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, can I have your number?

    Joking. But, yea, what is with the “how was your weekend,” or even “how was your week” texters. I have people that do that often – one of these days I’m going to snap on them and text back something like, “it sucks – everyone in my family died and I’m going to prison”

    Like

  3. Pingback: More Amusing Text Messages to a MILF Cougar | SeXXy Julie

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