I can probably count on one hand the number of “actual” dates I’ve been on in the last three years. (Hanging out at my place doesn’t count.) When my relationship ended, I resorted to PoF to see what was out there. I found it more to be plenty of sharks, plenty of liars, and plenty of needy leeches. And definitely plenty of assholes!
After being in a relationship for a long period of time and also being over the age of 35, it’s easy to forget what it’s like to date or to be single. Besides the lack of available AND quality people my own age, I had found myself to be very vulnerable and completely inexperienced… a virgin, if you will. (Not quite a virgin, but you get the picture.) I quickly remembered how shitty being single can be be when it comes to the world of dating… how being vulnerable can lead to stupid and hasty decisions all in the name of wanting to be loved or just cuddled.
The two dates I went on this year went pretty well. One was cocktails and dinner with a friend (we hooked up in the past but not anymore). He’s one of those people that I can have fun with no matter what without any hard feelings later. Another was with a man about 10 years older that I saw maybe a handful of times. We had dinner and went to a brewery afterwards. But he’s a blog post I’ll write another time.
It’s very rare that I get asked on an actual date, but when I do, it’s usually someone I do not want to date. This past Friday was exceptional, because I had three date offers. So what did I do? I chose to stay at home by myself, watch sappy movies and go to bed early.
Three date offers for me (especially in one night) is unheard of. First, I’ve had this guy I met a while back and sometimes run into (we hung out once, no sex or making out) begging me to do something with him. He’s nice, but something isn’t right about him… like maybe too rough around the edges. Plus, he had horrible breath last time we hung out. I’m looking for someone a little more polished.
Another offer came from a young and talented hottie, but there is definitely something off about him. It has nothing to do with his criminal history (*chuckles*), but he says some off-the-wall shit that makes me question his sanity. Keeping a safe distance from this guy. I need someone with a lot more maturity than what he has to offer.
And last, but not least, someone that I really like as a friend and only a friend keeps asking me to do things. It probably didn’t help that I “accidentally” made out with him after a few beers during a really vulnerable time a couple of weeks ago, even though I have zero physical attraction to him. I’m afraid he’s hoping for more than friendship, so I’m keeping a safe distance from him as well.
If I could take all of the qualities I like in all three of these guys and put them into one, there might be an actual date. While I would absolutely love to meet someone that can accept me for who I am and vice versa, I’m not holding my breath. I know my chances and choices are slim. I don’t want to waste my time going on empty dates with men that I know will lead to nowhere. After being single for three years, I realize that I may have to accept being single for the rest of my life, because I’m certainly not going to settle for anything less than what I want or deserve.