And then there are those Sugar Daddy sites…

No sugar daddy at the Comfort Inn. ;)
No sugar daddy at the Comfort Inn. 😉

I’ve always been attracted to younger men and generally don’t date anyone more than about 4 years older than me. My entire adult life I’ve been told I need to be with an older man, because of the maturity level. But let me tell you – I have not seen much of a difference in maturity when it comes to age.

I’ve tried a spectrum dating sites over time – ranging from the typical PoF and Match and Tinder to Cougar dating. I thought I’d try out a sugar daddy site to see if I get any different results from men that supposedly have money (as opposed to half of the ones I meet that are unemployed), to see if I get treated better. I have to say that anyone that I was physically attracted to was looking for much younger women/girls 18-21. There were very few attractive men on there to begin with, and many were married just looking for a fling.

The first “gentlemen” I agreed to meet for lunch claimed he was in his early 50s (looked older) and lived about two hours away.  This was right when my job started cutting my hours, so I had some time to meet during the week. (Let me add right here that when I first meet anyone, I dress in appropriate office attire, so no one gets the wrong idea.) Of course he looked better in his photos, but I was trying to figure out if we would click. We met at a sushi place, sat in the back corner so we could speak. The place was super quiet, which made it awkward to have a conversation without everyone hearing us. First, we talked about what we did for a living and basic life things. (Oh… and he’s married, but she’s not interested in sex and hasn’t been in a long time.) I watched him eat his sushi with a fork, tried to teach him how to use chopsticks… it was a disaster… which made me think he’s not very refined for a man his age, but it gave me something to talk about.

As we finished up, the place started clearing out, but the two women sitting behind us were barely whispering, which made me think they were listening to us. Then he got on his phone and started googling something… his entire face changed from normal to lustful creepy… said something like, “So how do you want to do this? Want to get a room at the Comfort Inn down the street and see if we click? I know you could use the money.” He’d been googling hotels in the area. (Let me add right here that the area is not a place I would ever get a cheap hotel, no matter the occasion.) He wanted to leave right away.

I was taken aback, because this wasn’t the “arrangement” I was seeking. In fact, I had clearly stated in my profile what I was looking for, yet I was open-minded at the same time – and I certainly wasn’t asking to get paid to have sex with a stranger. Speechless, he could tell that I was uncomfortable by his surprising offer (not to mention that a place like the Comfort Inn would be a place to sleep when I was in college, but certainly not a place to take a woman if you’re trying to woo her.) Plus, I had clearly stated I’m not an escort, so at the same time I was slightly offended but it hadn’t completely sunken in yet. It was like the initial shock you feel getting unexpectedly slapped in the face.

I politely told him I’d have to think about it, since we just met, and it was a good excuse to get the hell out of there. Once I left and had time to absorb what had just happened, I was disgusted. I mean, how does a man claiming he didn’t want a “pro” or an escort meet someone like me and offer the same exact thing he claims he’s not looking for?

I had about an hour drive home to think about it all, sent him an email saying thanks but no thanks, and I let him know that his offer was offensive and cheap. He apologized, because that wasn’t his intention. We didn’t contact each other again. About a year later, I went back on the site and he was still on there without any changes to his profile. Some men just never learn, no matter the age.

After meeting two other men on that site, I deleted my profile. To be continued…

18 thoughts on “And then there are those Sugar Daddy sites…

      1. I’m saying that he was acting like a sugar daddy, at least what I believe the term sugar daddy to mean. Sure, some people are smoother than others and able to fabricate a veneer of romance, but in the end isn’t that relationship, by definition, an exchange of sex or romance for money? I’m not being snarky, I’m actually curious.


      2. Actually, no, he was acting like this was an exchange between a John and a hooker. This was just an initial lunch meeting, and I gave no indication in any of my correspondence that this would be a sexual encounter.

        I know plenty of young women that have sugar daddies and don’t have sex with them. They get “paid” in either cash or gifts for their time.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Really? I’ve never met anyone who was, or knew a sugar daddy, but it sounds like the parameters are very small. You’ve got to be good looking, have manners, a good personality and not assume youre going to have sex even though you’re giving money to someone who is not your girlfriend or wife. What I’m saying is that in such a nebulous relationship it seems naive to expect that wouldn’t be part of the equation.


      4. It all really depends on the arrangement, I suppose. Some men just want arm candy or a companion to talk to and don’t expect sex, believe it or not.

        The point is, we went to lunch to meet. He offered to get a hotel room right then and there. That’s just gross and not how it works.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Highly inappropriate and low class of him. I guess people who are good at sport can have heaps of money at them and then that qualifies them to be political leaders or some other form of cultural nobility. Some of them have even convinced themselves that they understand the psychology of going to war or fighting for their lives. It sounds like you met a bloke who didn’t respect you and wasn’t interested in you… who you actually are. There are so many ways of meeting people. A lot of people are simply shallow… men and women. Like the friend zone crap. Why would you bother only treating a woman well on the condition she slept with you? The mothers of these guys have a lot to answer for. Some of my best and most trusted friends are women. Real women. Pretty sad if I would punish a great and valuable person because I couldn’t objectify her, close her off, and treat her bad. Some men feel they have to do this to prove they aren’t gay. Any gay friends I have known have actually had courage.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You could feel sorry for him if he didn’t presume to be sleeping with you… very difficult to listen to someone when eating sushi with a fork. Might have been the first sugar daddy to leave his date with the bill


  3. The Comfort Inn, wooooo big spender! It could have been worse, like the Motel 6!!lol I checked out the SD/SB site too but dismissed it for a bunch of reasons. The main one, of course, is I’m married. But even if I were single I don’t want some 20-something geezer-pleezer. Tried that, done that, felt like a creepy old man.

    Liked by 1 person

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