Throwback: Slippery Argentinian

That's how I like to straddle.

That’s how I like to straddle.

Here’s a little throwback situation I was in.

Had a girl’s night out with too many drinks, met a 30-year-old Argentinian that I immediately knew I wanted. In other words, I wasn’t leaving without him. He had thick, short dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. Perfect teeth, sexy body… the type of guy I’d never have met in my 20s.

Now let me tell you what I don’t do – public display of affection. Locals know everyone, and I don’t like people knowing my business. But for some reason, I was so entranced with this hottie, I forgot my own rule and ended up making out with him in front of everyone before leaving in a cab and heading to my house. (I ended up paying for the cab.)

It didn’t take long before walking through the door to start back where we’d left off in the club. We basically tore each other’s clothes off and went at it. I had a brand new batch of condoms and we put one to use. The sex was totally hot. He liked me on top of him, which I prefer anyway, and we just pounded each other until we both came… and that didn’t take long for either of us. Then he said he had to pick his kids up clear across town in a few hours and needed to get his car. I ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up he was gone. We never exchanged numbers.

About three or four days later, something wasn’t right “down there”. I wasn’t worried about having any diseases, so I figured it’s probably just a regular women’s issue. Two more days later, and I wasn’t feeling so well. I brush it off to thinking I’m coming down with something or it’s hormonal. Then I started having dreams (two to be exact) about being pregnant. But I knew that was impossible. Finally, the issue came to a head.

Apparently, Mr. Argentina failed to inform me that the condom had slipped off during sex and was still inside of me. I couldn’t feel it way up there; I thought he’d flushed it. In the meantime, I had been playing with my toys and probably shoving it back up inside without even realizing it. I was just thankful I didn’t end up in the emergency room over it from toxic shock or something.

Once I discovered what had happened, I thought how in the fuck could a grown ass man not tell me the condom had fallen off? Embarrassment? Stupidity? Did he even know how to use one properly (given that he had been married for a while). I didn’t even have his phone number to remind him about what he did. I was pretty disgusted by the whole way it happened. It had never happened before, and it hasn’t happened since.

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