When it comes to dating, it seems to be one extreme or the other – either I never hear from them or they’re clingers that won’t go away.
The most recent clinger I met while playing a game one evening. I know I’d seen him around but had never had a conversation with him until that night. He was 35, had just moved from New York to take care of his sick mother (which meant he lived with her). That should have been Red Flag #1. Totally not my type at all (do I even have a type?), but for whatever reason, I felt like making out with him by the end of the night.
We went back to my place and talked for a while. It was then that I noticed he had one skinny leg. I can’t remember what had happened to him exactly, but he had almost lost his leg at some point. I pretended not to notice. We made out all night. No sex, which was fine with me, because he also had a skinny dick. He was a really great kisser and really good at eating out and spanking me. We played with my toys and had a pretty good time. He was the type that I know is a bad boy, but not too bad.
It’s always the next morning when things come into focus. I hated the way Skinny Leg Guy dressed, like he was ghetto or something with the saggy shorts and tilted hat. Much too old to be acting that way. And it turned out he was a chain smoker – so bad that he’d stop in the middle of making out to smoke a fucking cigarette. I don’t like anyone at my house to be going in and out, because I live next door to my landlords, and I try to keep my business under wraps. I told him he’s not wearing his shorts and hat all ghetto if he steps outside my house. My rules. Haha!
I realized I had to drop him off somewhere, because Skinny Leg Guy had no transportation with him. (Come to find out, he doesn’t have ANY transportation!) So he hung around my place until like 2 in the afternoon when I said I had to be somewhere. In the meantime, he was driving me nuts going in and out of the house to smoke. I had a bottle of vodka on top of the refrigerator and he decided to take a shot or two. Mind you, this is at like 10 o’clock in the morning. Red flag! While he was outside smoking yet again, I took the opportunity to use the bathroom (he’d left the toilet seat up). He wasn’t out long, then came in and walked right through the bathroom while I was sitting on the toilet! I was like WTF! No respect for my privacy is not going to cut it with me, and I couldn’t wait to get him out! But before we left, I had to remind him to throw away his nasty ass cigarette butts he’d left on my porch. UGH.
Finally, I had to leave to go to my appointment. He had me drop him off at his cousin’s house, because it was closer than his mom’s. The place I took him to was a complete dumpy ass trailer park that was one of those really shady places with probably has at least one meth lab per block. He swore he didn’t live there, that his cousin did, so he must have been embarrassed by what a shithole it was. I dipped out of there as fast as I could, praying no one I know saw me, because anyone that knows me knows I wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like that.
But it didn’t end there with Skinny Leg Guy. Part 2 tomorrow…