It’s crucial to my job to put a smile on my face, because no one wants to look at a frowning chick on a webcam. If I’m in a bad mood, I stay off camera, since there is no need to take anything out on strangers that are trying to escape from their own worlds.
Sometimes people don’t understand that even though I sell fantasies, I am a real person with real feelings – and like everyone else, real problems. Most of the time people are super nice, but if I’m having an “off” day in my personal life, a smite comment can take the brightness out of the day. Usually, I can be thick-skinned and brush it off, so why does the comment continue to stick in my brain?
I was having one particularly bad weekend a few weeks ago. I had contacted my ex regarding something about our (adult) kid. It turned out to be no big deal, and he was pleasant about what I’d sent him. Two hours later, I get a hateful text from him saying that since I’ve moved on to never contact him about anything ever again. And then I’m pretty sure he blocked me. I was stunned. I showed the text to three different people – and every one of them said he didn’t send that, that his new girlfriend did. I realized they were right, because it was different from his “writing” and was totally something an insecure woman would say. The thing that really pisses me off is that they’ve been together since he and I were separated, and I purposely have gone out of my way trying to avoid them both in the small town we live in. And when I do see them, I either ignore them or if that’s impossible, wave a small “hello” and get on my way. I think that’s a pretty fair thing for me to do as an ex. So not only did this bitch create drama that never existed, her text brought up emotions that I thought I’d dealt with and reminded me of things I wanted to forget. It basically ruined my weekend, because it happened on Friday afternoon. Next time I run into him, I’m going to flat out ask if he really sent that text, whether or not she’s standing there, and hope karma bites her in the ass.
That same weekend, I had two chargebacks from deadbeat customers that were given a Skype show and canceled their payments. Fucking scamming cowards. I have zero tolerance for dishonesty and theft. This happened a third time this week. These people are essentially stealing my grocery money. Karma is a bitch.
And then came snide remarks from people online. I belong to some foot fetish groups on Facebook in which we post feet photos. If someone doesn’t like my feet, I don’t see the need to comment at all… just move onto something you do like, right? In one day alone, there were three or four dickhead comments. And then there are those people that create fake profiles on the camming sites with the sole purpose of insulting models. Of course, there were the great comments, so why do the negative ones seem to have more of an impact?